current mood: Pointless
A year ago I told my friends that we were giving up on becoming parents but it wasn't true. What was true then was that Kevin was going to undergo hormone treatments. They were unsuccessful so now we're really giving up.
I'm coming to terms with the likelihood that I will die alone. Frankly it's egotistical to hope for any better. From time to time it occurs to me that all of my possessions, my writings and my life's accumulations that seemed so important will one day go to a landfill but it is for the best. As Paul Newman used to say, we should all aspire to slip on and off this world as quietly as possible. But still, it is difficult sometimes. If I seem a bit reckless to you, it's because most days I have nothing to lose.